Letter to My Father

Dear Daddy,

 

I know I’ve made mistakes, I know I’ve taken you for granted.

I’ve slammed doors in your face, told you I hated you, and told you to leave me alone and get out of my life. I remember telling my friends how much I hated you, and that you hated me and didnt care. I remember the looks you gave me, looks of anger, but they were really a man crying on the inside.

I regret ever mean thing I ever said to you, and I’ve learned the value of a father. Ive learned that you are the only person that will ever love me the way you do, and the only one that will care about me the way you do.

 

I miss watching tv with you, while sitting on your lap.

I miss going to the store to get a bunch of ice cream.

I miss when you use to tell me go get the chocolate out of your hiding spot in the fridge.

I miss going to the shop to see you and watch you fix my car.

I miss going fishing with you, and seeing who is going to catch the biggest fish.

I miss our little redneck trips up to Ockeechobee.

I miss when I would be in my room, and you would call me 23908203945823 times for stupid things.

I miss those days we couldnt sleep and would wake up and watch tv together.

I miss those days that you would read Quran to me.

I miss when you call me Amboora Amoura Samoura Abla.

I miss when pinching your cheeks.

I miss the mornings that you would come out clean shaven.

I miss when I use to hold the steering wheel while you were eating on the way to school.

I miss our long talks in the car.

I miss your little dances in the kitchen.

I miss snuggling up next to you in bed on Sunday mornings.

 

I miss you, and everything about you..as hard as it may seem, since I had such a black soul.

Now Im typing this trying to hold back my tears, and wish I can go over to you and hug you. And smell your smell that I miss so much.

 

I regret the days I wouldnt give you a kiss goodbye.

I regret when I would slam the car door in your face.

I regret all those mornings that ruined your day.

I regret rejecting all your invitations to sit and watch tv with you.

I regret every bad thing I said to you.

I regret rejecting those sunday morning snuggles.

I regret pressing end when I saw your phone calls.

I regret all those times I yelled at you.

 

…because now, I wish that, that second I was yelling at you, I was sitting next to you. Or the time I slammed the door in your face, I was telling you how much I love you.

I wish so bad now, that I can give you a kiss or a hug, and tell you how much I appreciate your love.

But your so far away…